Good things about bad vis!!
August 29th 2008 03:57
You might have read that headline and thought ‘I knew it... she’s utterly mad!!!’..That may indeed be true, but it is a little beside the point.
You know how it is. You have had this dive booked for a couple of weeks. The weather has been bad, but over the last few days it cleared up and today, the weather is actually quite good. Heading out on the boat, you notice that even the seas are favourable – with swell under a meter and no wind to speak of.
Underwater though, it’s like the prawns threw a buck’s night and the cleaning lady went home in disgust.
Funny, but you tend to descend with the bizarre hope in the back of your mind that visibility will improve... of course it doesn’t.
We’ve all dived in it, so I thought I’d talk about the good things about bad vis. Let’s face it, no-one goes diving hoping for bad vis, but it doesn’t have to ruin your whole day either.
Here is a list of the things that are good about bad vis;
1. You have something to talk about back on the boat.
Ok, sure you’d prefer to rave about all the good things you saw, but the reality is you spent 45 odd minutes fumbling around like Mr Magoo, peering into the murk. You didn’t see anything of note, but you can always start conversations with other divers aboard the boat, by saying ‘Geez, that was crap vis huh??’
2. You can pretend you saw whatever you like.
If you are really bored (or maybe just a bit of a bastard) bad vis enables you to pretend you saw the coolest critter ever. Spring out of the water and immediately commence spouting about the tiger shark you saw – ‘just at the edge of my vision!!!’ Make sure your buddy knows what you are doing though – a good buddy will nod vigorously and demonstrate size with arm spans. This is especially hilarious after the first dive, as you watch everyone eying the water during the surface interval. Of course, this can be tricky if you have a camera and no pics of the mythical beast, but a quick mind can select a blurry/ murky shot and loudly lament the absence of a good picture.
3. Heebie Jeebie factor.
We’re human. No matter how many dives you’ve done, beers you can drink or spiders you can face without shrieking, we’ve all seen enough movies to – once in a while - imagine something with several hundred teeth/legs/eyes appearing out of the gloom during our safety stop. Whether it wants to eat you or mate with you, you are pretty sure 7ml neoprene isn’t going to be much of a deterrent!! You spend the entire safety stop trying to act casual, whilst searching the seas for impending doom. Not so good for you, but great for your dive buddy who gets to laugh at what a sissy you are!!
4. You have a good excuse for all those crap photos you took.
Annoying but true, you have not quite mastered the art of underwater photography. Your expensive camera and strobe are completely unable to compensate for your lack of ability. It truly is embarrassing when - noticing you bristling with photographic gear – fellow divers have high expectations of your images. Invariably some nosy so and so enquires ‘get some good pictures then??’ on the way back to harbour. Bad vis gives you the excuse you need!!!
5. You will look at the little things.
Simply because things have to be RIGHT in front of your face to see them, you find yourself studying the surfaces in bad vis. Because of this, you tend to notice little critters you wouldn’t have noticed on a dive with good vis. Suddenly it is fascinating to move the water right near that Christmas Tree worm and watch him retreat into his hole, reappearing when his worm sense gives him the all clear. You feel mightily superior for a nanosecond – before you realise you’re feeling smug because you’ve outsmarted a worm!!!
So next time you’re diving in bad vis, have a little fun!!! Invent a creature, worry that it might eat you, convince yourself you are smarter than it and blame the murk for the lack of a decent photo.
You know how it is. You have had this dive booked for a couple of weeks. The weather has been bad, but over the last few days it cleared up and today, the weather is actually quite good. Heading out on the boat, you notice that even the seas are favourable – with swell under a meter and no wind to speak of.
Underwater though, it’s like the prawns threw a buck’s night and the cleaning lady went home in disgust.
Funny, but you tend to descend with the bizarre hope in the back of your mind that visibility will improve... of course it doesn’t.
We’ve all dived in it, so I thought I’d talk about the good things about bad vis. Let’s face it, no-one goes diving hoping for bad vis, but it doesn’t have to ruin your whole day either.
Here is a list of the things that are good about bad vis;
1. You have something to talk about back on the boat.
Ok, sure you’d prefer to rave about all the good things you saw, but the reality is you spent 45 odd minutes fumbling around like Mr Magoo, peering into the murk. You didn’t see anything of note, but you can always start conversations with other divers aboard the boat, by saying ‘Geez, that was crap vis huh??’
2. You can pretend you saw whatever you like.
If you are really bored (or maybe just a bit of a bastard) bad vis enables you to pretend you saw the coolest critter ever. Spring out of the water and immediately commence spouting about the tiger shark you saw – ‘just at the edge of my vision!!!’ Make sure your buddy knows what you are doing though – a good buddy will nod vigorously and demonstrate size with arm spans. This is especially hilarious after the first dive, as you watch everyone eying the water during the surface interval. Of course, this can be tricky if you have a camera and no pics of the mythical beast, but a quick mind can select a blurry/ murky shot and loudly lament the absence of a good picture.
The spotted turtlefaced watermelon fish - swear to god!!!
3. Heebie Jeebie factor.
We’re human. No matter how many dives you’ve done, beers you can drink or spiders you can face without shrieking, we’ve all seen enough movies to – once in a while - imagine something with several hundred teeth/legs/eyes appearing out of the gloom during our safety stop. Whether it wants to eat you or mate with you, you are pretty sure 7ml neoprene isn’t going to be much of a deterrent!! You spend the entire safety stop trying to act casual, whilst searching the seas for impending doom. Not so good for you, but great for your dive buddy who gets to laugh at what a sissy you are!!
4. You have a good excuse for all those crap photos you took.
Annoying but true, you have not quite mastered the art of underwater photography. Your expensive camera and strobe are completely unable to compensate for your lack of ability. It truly is embarrassing when - noticing you bristling with photographic gear – fellow divers have high expectations of your images. Invariably some nosy so and so enquires ‘get some good pictures then??’ on the way back to harbour. Bad vis gives you the excuse you need!!!
5. You will look at the little things.
Simply because things have to be RIGHT in front of your face to see them, you find yourself studying the surfaces in bad vis. Because of this, you tend to notice little critters you wouldn’t have noticed on a dive with good vis. Suddenly it is fascinating to move the water right near that Christmas Tree worm and watch him retreat into his hole, reappearing when his worm sense gives him the all clear. You feel mightily superior for a nanosecond – before you realise you’re feeling smug because you’ve outsmarted a worm!!!
So next time you’re diving in bad vis, have a little fun!!! Invent a creature, worry that it might eat you, convince yourself you are smarter than it and blame the murk for the lack of a decent photo.
The gun turret on the EX-HMAS Brisbane in bad vis
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Another great thing to do!!!
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